Dear Me

Hey girl hey,

Ugh! Here we are again! Where do I even begin? I guess I’ll get right to it! I’ve spent years hating you. I know I’ve spent countless hours telling you how much no one likes you, and that you’re fat, ugly and mess up everything good. Not to mention that no one likes you and you’re worthless.

I also know all of those are absolutely false and beyond lies. Do you want to know why? Well, there are a number of people who choose to stay in your life and choose to go out of their way to spend time with you, support you and make you laugh-when you need it. Friends and family say things like: you are kind, beaut, empathetic,

funny, strong, passionate, inspirational, encouraging, make others feel loved and amazing to be around.

Girl, those nice compliments don’t match up with the nasty things you were telling yourself, do they? There is absolutely no way your as bad as I tell you you are if that many people love you. Let’s be realistic Sarah Beth. You are intelligent. You’ve been told that since you were little but still find some reason to believe you’re stupid. You are by no means ugly. You are unique and beautiful, inside and out. How many people compliment the complexity of your eyes? Exactly so what’s the problem? I know your body is your weakness because your body is your punching bag. But listen here, your body is amazing just like you; I know you go through stages of starving your stomach but your stomach didn’t do anything to you so be nice to it.

People confide in you. You are strong enough to speak through your ups and downs and you’ve helped others through theirs. Now, you may not be able to see how much you inspire people even though they tell you constantly, but, you do know that helping others touches you deeply and that it is your very purpose. And you use that to keep fighting. It’s the bravest thing I have ever seen.

My beautiful love, I truly wish you would believe someone, at least me when I tell you that you are so much more than you think or even comprehend. Your fire and passion is a gift because it drives you to do what you do best. I wish you could see how many people just want to see you smile.

You are in recovery. Not from drugs or alcohol but from your past, you know how hard that is for some people. You have stuck through it even when you had some relapses and made some unhealthy choices. You are stronger than you realize. You see your worth because you feel worthy enough to recover from all the pain and bs you’ve made it through. You are so far beyond enough.

I know exactly what your thinking and I know what you want to say, don’t go there girlfriend. Do not re open that wound. It is so not worth your thought. You have healed.

I take full responsibility and I am truly sorry for all of the time I’ve spent abusing you, both emotionally and physically. I swear to do my best to speak only positive and loving words to you and let you relax when you need it, to feed you when you’re hungry, or to stop feeding you when you’re full, and to spend time with people who treat you compassionately. After all your time is very valuable.

I hope that in time you’ll come to fully believe the loving things I tell you just as strongly as you once believed the lies. You are beautiful the moment you start believing you are beautiful. Do not let mistakes define you they only make you stronger. Can you finally make all your amends and practice some complete self-love? Sit with it a minute baby girl. Then go get what’s yours!

Forever and always,

Me Sarah B